6/22/2004
things just seem to be rushing along nowadays. i just took a look at my to-do list for the holidays a few days back, and i've not been able to accomplish even a fourth of that list. admittedly because my old steadfast philosophy that life never deals you what you expect or plan it to manifested itself very solidly, and so my current job prevents me from taking time out to reflect and learn and teach.

last night, one of my paternal granduncles passed away due to a heart attack. though i really can't say i was close to granduncle jimmy, i remember him as a cheerful, bubbly person who loved his family alot. my dad went to the hospital last night but came home before my granduncle passed away, and he told me that granduncle jimmy received Christ at around 7-8pm. sometimes i envy people who receive Christ before they pass away, they don't have the struggles a Christian has to face, the several more judgements, knowing the path we must tread but so frequently stray from. and then i think about my own faith, whether or not it's built on fear of the unknown and the fear of the earth's apocalypse. i guess it's partly so. but my belief in God is strong, and it cannot be eradicated easily. it's just that sometimes the fear overrules love, you know?

increasingly there seems to be more requests for prayer regarding church people and their medical situations. i don't know what God's plan is for these people, and sometimes i feel like it's wrong to just keep on praying for healing. what if it's not in God's plan for healing? i shall just pray for His presence to calm them and their families, and for peace, for protection from doubt and anger, negative thoughts. for acceptance in whatever happens, that He has not left them at any point in time.

i brought my girls to sentosa for a dg outing on sunday, and i was glad to be able to lie on the beach for awhile, just enjoying the sun and the feel of the sand. i fell asleep (duh) but you know, for once there wasn't any pressing worries to hamper my catnap. it was just good old plain fun and relaxation, knowing that nobody was on our backs for something, anything. and a good workout for my legs as well. walking climbing walking... i'm getting old! we went to watch the new fountain show. as usual it was tres cheesy, and the monkey and bouncing clown guy were auxiliary characters, we were only interested in the fountains, the laser lights and the fireballs. hopefully the whole outing bonded us all though, jiaen ming joanna melko mel.h yien and me. next time, we're getting rasa sentosa. sijori staff aren't really that nice, plus the pool's teensy. by next time, too, i can probably drive in. haha. am acting spoilt again. marshmallows at two am, anyone?


6/12/2004
sometimes i get the feeling i can't really drive. i'm just cruising on my instincts.

today i'm going to talk about two very important people in my life right now. these two guys are my driving instructors, tall burnished men who are okay-looking (perhaps some girls might even be moved to call them cute o_O). i guess i'm quite lucky to have these relatively young men (as opposed to old fogies who would be as lethargic as i am)to provide me with quite enough entertainment when i go for lessons...

let's start off with alex, because he was the first guy who took me on. alex is the more relaxed of the two, though of late he has started getting cheekier and more explicit in his expressions of frustration at my lousy driving. today alone produced around 4 exclamations of "I want to KILL myself already!" whenever I struck or kissed the kerb with my wayward tyres. the previous lesson, he went a bit crazy, and started trying to distract me by pointing out various driving instructors in other cars while i was trying desperately to concentrate on my vertical parking technique.

alex: hey hey! look at that instructor over there!
me: *grunts distractedly* uh-huh where... can't see lar the shadow of the tree is blocking him..
alex: ok wait, wait.... there! handsome right!
me: nooo... (turns my head to look at pole behind while inching very carefully backward)
alex: haha i bet you cannot park already... he's so distracting right?
me: haha. (parks perfectly)
alex: (checks to see the distancing between both kerbs) hey! not bad! great!
me: yaaaay....

yeah. and another conversation between me and him went somewhat like this:

alex: hey you know the most eligible and handsome bachelor in bbdc?
me: no...*feigns ignorance* who?
alex: me lah! you're so lucky to have me as your instructor man...
me: ugh...*pretends to puke*
alex: hey you watch chinese television shows?
me: no... i told you i'm english ed right? my chinese sucks.. i only watch some shows like that channel 8 7pm show..
alex: that means you dunno i'm acting on channel u right?
me: huh? really? i only know one channel u actor.. nelson chia. used to be my theatre teacher.
alex: orhhh.... i host a channel u gameshow.. good thing you don't watch channel u..
me: huh??? where got?
alex: i look like anybody famous? *tries to hint*
me: you mean like that bryan guy? bryan wong?
alex: YAH! nobody tell you meh?
me: ...*rolls eyes*

yeah.

haha. now. on to scary gary. he's the guy i dare not talk back to, don't know why. alex asked me today why i dare to talk back to him and not gary, and i gave some lame excuse about gary being married already, thus being nagged and henpecked enough at home, which excuses him from being nagged and pushed around by us, the trainees. but truth be told, gary's just scary.

gary: *flings open left passenger door on major road with cars zipping past* LOOK! your positioning is LOUSY! WHY CAN'T YOU LISTEN TO ME?
me: urm... sorry. i'll try again.. it's so difficult..
gary: NO! it's NOT difficult! you just don't want to focus! *goes off on tangent explaining correct technique.. while i zone off again*

or..

gary: WHY did you keep right and let that motorcycle squeeze past you on the left?
me: ermmm.... i'm scared of hitting him!
gary: YOU SCARED??? YOU GAVE HIM SPACE TO SQUEEZE PAST! next time keep to the centre of the road! THEN he cannot get past you because there is NO SPACE!
me: ... *meekly like a mouse* okay.. sorry
gary: see he dare not look at us anymore! wah! P plate some more! show off right... dare not look at me anymore!
me: (sighs unhappily at my lousy driving)

occasionally though, gary will sit back and relax, pointing out various car models as well as vehicle types. it seems this guy has driven basically everything on four to eight wheels. he's driven tow trucks, container trucks, bikes, blah blah blah... but suffice it to say that he is quite determined in showing me the light.. or helping me get my driver's licence the first time round. alex too lah, actually. both of them are really quite nice to me, even telling me that if i should ever print out a slip without any of them listed on it, i can go to the instructors' office and ask for a swap. so far that hasn't happened, i've always got them except for maybe 2 out of the 17 times i've gone for lessons. and i've never paid for fixed group for either of them, and they're both in the silver category. so maybe i'm really quite blessed..

haha yup. quite a lengthy essay on these two, but really. they deserve it because i've spent so much (expensive) time with them.. and they've promised to treat me if i pass the first time round. which might not really be possible.. because i've gone barefoot the past few lessons, i've yet to find a comfortable thin-soled shoe for driving in. actually i should be the one treating them right? hmmm....


  posted by juice.susceptible @ 11:46 AM

 
6/7/2004
a year ago on this very day i was peacefully strolling the poo-caked streets of paris.

amazingly hard to believe now, that is. though i can't say that right now i'm not embarking on an equally crazy adventure. haha. we'll see how long this journey shall last. i won't be disappointed though, if i don't get through to the end.. actually it was quite an experience, the last 2 days alone.

right now though, i'm lazing at my desk... idling around, (a lull before the storm of the fifth business day) good thing i still haven't finished a cook's tour.. still savouring it. currently mexican food's the topic.. really wouldn't mind taking a trip down there, despite what people say about mexican food being full of beans and me being an extremely prone-to-flatulence-food person, i usually steer clear of beans and legumes and whatever induces ass-gas. but i wouldn't mind going to Puebla. though with someone who can tolerate my monstrously pungent farts. (i think it runs in the family, just try walking into the boys' room in the early morning while they're still asleep)o_O

6/2/2004
amazingly this blog has gotten a facelift!

yes I was sick and tired of the old look.. hopefully this one'll hold till drew (wonderful wonderful drew i owe you a good ol' treat once i get paid that is) frees himself of current commitments and manages to undertake creating a whole new template for me. till then, give me your comments on this page, i think i've spent about 12 hours on it. backbreaking (i tend to hunch over the com) thankless work. haha.

meanwhile. lots have happened, food for chewy rumination.
on monday night i went for aewf, though the sound wasn't as great as the year before's (or perhaps it might've had something to do with my seat rearrangement)the choice of songs this year were admittedly tougher. visually, at least. i envy the choir's expansion of repertoire, movement and instruments other than the human voice being incorporated into this year's programme. sigh.

ah well. t'was a pleasure to let the sounds wash over oneself yet again, and to realise with a bittersweet nostalgia how old we've all grown. my voice has deteriorated, i know.

thanks to aaron who drove me chris and jackie home that night. quite an exhilarating ride, and if you see this, sorry for giving you directions at the last minute and telling you to follow all the wrong cars. haha.

tuesday i had lunch with aaron jackie markypoo and leo. at coffee club raffles green.. rather poor service i might add. it seems as if the staff haven't yet learnt how to handle the rush hour traffic, and raffles place is THE most crowded place at lunch. sigh. if you ask me, two years back i'd never have imagined the time and place.. the entire setting and circumstances which've brought us all together, discussing stuff from where to park(!) and work.. everyone taking an enormously different turn from one another. cheers all, and thanks guys for keeping me company, even for such a short while.

today, vesak day. went for my first ever hillsongs experience at the rock auditorium suntec with drew. never having had (okay, once in secondary two) such a (pun intended) rocking worship session before, i guess it was a trifle hard to open myself, my heart. oh sure the mouth opens, haha, but i agree with darlene zschech (don't know if i spelt her name right) that often people get caught up with worshipping the worship. the heart is indeed challenged to stay focused on God throughout, and sometimes the music is distracting. sigh. i can't say i learnt much that i never knew before about worship, the seminar was more of an affirmation of things already known. but it was a good reminder of the whys and wherefores of worship and leading, and hopefully i'll put the reminder to good work.

lastly. relationships. 95% of everything this year that i've learnt so far just sums up what was in my heart all along, that i'm right in holding off things. i strongly encourage the remaining 5% to press on in Christ, to keep each other strongly grounded in the faith. give us hope, darlings, and then, just maybe we can help stop this dratted birth rate from plummeting further into the abyss. haha O_o.


  posted by juice.susceptible @ 10:46 AM

 
5/22/2004
I Need A Hero

Where have all good men gone
And where are all the gods?
Where’s the street-wise Hercules
To fight the rising odds?

Isn’t there a white knight upon a fiery steed?
Late at night I toss and turn and dream of what I need

I need a hero
I’m holding out for a hero ‘til the end of the night
He’s gotta be strong
And he’s gotta be fast
And he’s gotta be fresh from the fight
I need a hero
I’m holding out for a hero ‘til the morning light
He’s gotta be sure
And it’s gotta be soon
And he’s gotta be larger than life

Somewhere after midnight
In my wildest fantasy
Somewhere just beyond my reach
There’s someone reaching back for me

Racing on the thunder and rising with the heat
It’s gonna take a superman to sweep me off my feet

I need a hero
I’m holding out for a hero ‘til the end of the night
He’s gotta be strong
And he’s gotta be fast
And he’s gotta be fresh from the fight
I need a hero
I’m holding out for a hero ‘til the morning light
He’s gotta be sure
And it’s gotta be soon
And he’s gotta be larger than life

Up Where the mountains meet the heavens above
Out where the lightning splits the sea
I would swear that there’s someone somewhere
Watching me
Through the wind and the chill and the rain
And the storm and the flood
I can feel his approach
Like a fire in my blood

I need a hero
I’m holding out for a hero ‘til the end of the night
He’s gotta be strong
And he’s gotta be fast
And he’s gotta be fresh from the fight
I need a hero
I’m holding out for a hero ‘til the morning light
He’s gotta be sure
And it’s gotta be soon
And he’s gotta be larger than life

i'd belt this out for you if you wanna.
it's in the shrek 2 soundtrack, and i think the movie's really good, with tons of laughable spoofs or "intermediatextual references". stay till the end of the credits!


5/19/2004
soaking my feet in a warm milk bath, eating apples and drinking tea

yeah the chief went berserk again. just try, try doing 90 consecutive star jumps. and knuckle pushups. it was twice as bad as last week.
though i must say my frustrations at everything in life dissipated with each sweatdrop that stung my eyes, with each angered yell that came directed at the tormentor but with varied intentions motivating my vocal chords. oh well.

i had my first manicure and pedicure today. for free, i must add.
it was at my parents' friends' training centre at uob (oub maybe.. i always mix them up) and my parents are going to be setting up the third branch of their spa there..
yeah so anyway while i was sitting there being massaged and fawned over, being treated very gently and wonderfully (nobody's ever done such for me before) i was thinking about all the very many different lives in this world and the unsettling fact that we're never satisfied with what we have... even a luxurious treatment such as i've received today is quickly forgotten.. at least i hope not.

well taekwondo destroyed her meticulous work.. i just have the worst feet around.. haha nothing can save them because they're always constantly being mangled by shoes and taekwondo.. i can't wear any sort of shoes, seriously. only sports shoes and sandals haha. even slippers give me blisters already, as i've just found out today, taking a risk and wearing slippers (yes flipflops) to the office. whattajokeiam.

ah well. schtop complaining. results were down a .1 (i'm very tempted to say basis points as in office lingo)from last sem. will try out for SEP now. time to do some research! o_O


  posted by juice.susceptible @ 10:46 AM